..This title is in caps.

801ch:

kismetfishandmwahrails:

The Adventure Of The Tinkerbull

Jake and Dirk were out for a sexy Valentine’s walk on the bed. As they went, Dirk rested his hand on Jake’s dick. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so kawaii, Jake was filled with serious dread.

“Do you suppose it’s adventurous here?” he asked sneakily.

“You sly silly,” Dirk said, tickling Jake with his katana. “It’s completely intense.”

Just then, a playful tinkerbull leapt out from behind a gun and fucked Dirk in the penis. “Aaargh!” Dirk screamed.

Things looked gay. But Jake, although he was sparkley, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a yaoi and, like the most sugoi of ninja sensei, beat the tinkerbull carefully until it ran off. “That will teach you to fuck innocent people.”

Then he clasped Dirk close. Dirk was bleeding gently. “My darling,” Jake said, and pressed his lips to Dirk’s waist.

“I love you,” Dirk said loudly, and expired in Jake’s arms.

Jake never loved again.

Omg… I am crying….. This should not be so funny.

Sexy Lang Syne Dave sipped sexily at his drink and stood sexy behind a flower. He wasn’t sure why he had come to this New Year’s Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel attractive and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how infatuating his dick got when he was nervous. Well, truth be told, Dave knew very well why he was at the party: to see John. Ah, John. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his hardened body made Dave’s heart beat like the sounds of Gamzee and Tavros’ headboard banding against a wall. But tonight everyone was masked. Dave peered seductively through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was John. There, he thought, the man over by the set of swords, the tiny one with the predatory animal mask. It had to be John. No one else could look so hot, even in a predatory animal mask. He began to walk Dave’s way and Dave started to panic. What if he actually talked to Dave? John came right up to Dave and Dave thought that he was going to faint. “Hello,” John said dangerously. “What are you doing over here all alone?” “Oh, just looking at the vibrator,” Dave said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so alluring. Just then, a delicious voice began to count down. “Ten … nine … eight … seven …” Dave’s heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that John might … “Happy New Year!” John swept Dave into his arms, bent him on a bed, and kissed Dave daringly, slipping him the tongue and groping his dick. Dave could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out huskily and pulled John’s mask off his face. It was John! “I knew it was you,” Dave said and took his own mask off. “And it’s … you,” John said. “You know, I’m just going to go get some punch.” Dave watched him go. He would be right back, Dave was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch. And then they would fall in love. ———————— OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAH